28 devs,
ranked by how they treat git.

Three months in, she will solve your relationship issues by closing them as 'not planned' and moving on to the next project.

Mid-argument, she will calmly suggest a community-led governance model for your relationship that leaves you feeling surprisingly heard but slightly managed.

Three months in, you will realize your evening plans are competing with his 39% night-commit ratio.

Mid-argument, he will offer a hardware-level solution to your emotional distress, citing his ten years of experience in Dallas.

Mid-argument, he will suggest a comparison chart to visualize your feelings, citing his 355 public repos as proof of expertise.

Three months in, you’ll realize your relationship is being managed like a curriculum on EpicReact.dev rather than a spontaneous human connection.

Three months in, you will realize your relationship status is secondary to the uptime of his 140 public repositories.

Mid-way through a friend's birthday dinner, he will pause to suggest a more semantic way to phrase your anecdote.

Three months in, he will explain that your relationship's lack of progress is simply a failure of his internal OKRs.

Mid-argument, he will suggest you re-style your emotional expression using a grid system, citing his 21,212 stars as justification.

Mid-argument, he will calmly explain that your emotional needs are not on the roadmap for the current quarter.