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VOL. I · NO. 78
HUSBAND MATERIAL REPORT
HUSBAND MATERIAL REPORT
PROFILE @JAREDPALMER · ANALYSIS COMPLETE
The Corporate-Scale Curator.
“Three months in, he will explain that your relationship's lack of progress is simply a failure of his internal OKRs.”
HUSBAND SCORE
78
/ 100
✓ STRENGTHS
01.Amassed 80,870 stars; clearly knows how to build things people actually want.
02.13 years of GitHub tenure; has survived every framework fad since the Obama administration.
03.SVP at GitHub; has successfully monetized the hobby that ruined your social life.
⚠ RED FLAGS
01.0 commits in 90 days; has officially traded the IDE for the boardroom.
02.Follows 500 people; maintains a social graph larger than his current commit history.
03.Zero public activity; his life is now a private repo you aren't authorized to view.
@jaredpalmer · N. America · 13y experience
githusb.com/u/jaredpalmer
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@dark / @light§ The full report
Five categories.
One uncomfortable portrait.
01
Work Ethic
Productivity is now measured in slide decks, not git logs.
60
/100
›
RECEIPTS · STREAKS, FREQUENCY, NIGHT COMMITS
SIGNAL 01
“0 commits in 90 days — the keyboard is now purely decorative”
SIGNAL 02
“13 years on GitHub — outlasted half the frameworks on his resume”
SIGNAL 03
“SVP title — his primary output is now high-level strategy”
02
Emotional Stability
He has reached the final boss level of career maturity.
90
/100
›
03
Care for Others
Feedback is now a luxury service reserved for direct reports.
50
/100
›
04
Aesthetic & Order
His life is likely managed by an executive assistant, not scripts.
85
/100
›
05
Social Life
He is the person everyone else is trying to network with.
95
/100
›
§ one more
Think his friend is worse?
Or better. Same engine, same honesty, different suffering.
TRY:@dhh@mitchellh@kentcdodds
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