githusb.com
EST. 2026 · A PUBLIC DIAGNOSTIC FOR THE CHRONICALLY ONLINE
Is he husband material,
or just a committer?
Paste any GitHub handle. In about 15 seconds you get a Husband Material score, a title he will hate, three strengths, three red flags, and a shareable card he cannot un-see.
TRY:@torvalds@gaearon@tj
Yours, his, your ex’s, your boss’s — any public GitHub handle works. We only read what is already on github.com. No login, no email, no “please sign up to continue”.
§ Three real reads
This is the range.
From marriage material to “why is he like this”.
MA
87
/100
@martinchen
The Quiet Backbone
“Senior engineer energy. Will fix your laptop AND remember your birthday.”
✓ WINHas not force-pushed since 2019.
⚠ FLAGWill explain monorepos on dates.
JP
54
/100
@jpark
The Weekend Ghost
“Will ship a PR at 3 AM and expect applause for it.”
✓ WINShips features fast.
⚠ FLAG127 commits between midnight and 4 AM.
DE
31
/100
@devmitya
The Homeless Idealist
“Will write you a 3,000-word letter and forget to press send.”
✓ WINStars 400 repos a year.
⚠ FLAG47 abandoned side projects.
§ What we actually judge
A partial list of the sins and virtues we look for.
Every number on a githusb card is grounded in real GitHub signals. We just call them by their dating-therapy names.
Commits at 3 AM on a Tuesday
— the night shift
Force-pushes to main
— emotional dysregulation
‘fix’ as a commit message
— avoidant communicator
README.md that just says ‘todo’
— can’t express feelings
TODO comments older than his driver’s license
— fear of commitment
Closes issues with ‘nvm’
— dismissive attachment
47 stars, 2 merged PRs
— chronic idealist
Hasn’t reviewed a PR since 2023
— not emotionally available
Wrote a CONTRIBUTING.md
— considers shared labor
Answers his @-mentions within 6 hours
— responsive partner
Replies to issues with mercy
— high emotional IQ
Tests, even the boring ones
— long-term thinker
And about twenty more we don’t want to give away before you try it.
§ Questions you already had
Frequently dodged.
Is this real?
The signals are real. The dating advice is mostly emotional damage.
Will he know I analyzed him?
Not unless you tell him. Or share the card. Both are strongly encouraged.
Can I analyze myself?
Yes. It is the second most-searched use case after “my ex”.
Does a high score mean he’s the one?
It means he reviews PRs. Correlation with marriage fidelity has not been formally established.
How accurate is it?
About as accurate as reading someone’s texts from 2014. Directionally useful, occasionally devastating.
Why is my crush’s score so low?
Because he pushes to main with ‘wip’ and has no tests.
§ Your turn
So. Whose GitHub are you about to scroll through?
No judgment. Just paste the handle.
TRY:@torvalds@gaearon@tj